Oatmeal: You have enough time in the mornings to make something from scratch, so you’ve probably been up early going to the gym or otherwise being a healthy person. I am personally jealous of your life.
Cereal: You’re just a regular person trying to have a nice day. Unless you are eating sugary cereal in which case you know that you will be hungry way before it’s time to eat lunch but you continue eating the same breakfast anyway. You probably would not have passed the marshmallow test as a child.
Pancakes: You are at a diner with a waitress who refers to all the customers as “hon” or you are currently under the age of 10.
Greek Yogurt: You aspire to Instagram your breakfast but it doesn’t look as pretty as you want it to look so you DM it to just your besties.
Eggs: Like the oatmeal people, you have enough time to make something from scratch, but you spent an hour in bed scrolling through your social media feeds instead of going to the gym.
Black coffee: You like to live your life at the highest caffeine level possible for every given moment, which is why you’re tapping your foot as you’re reading this list.
Bacon: You either spend your mornings looking through Reddit memes in your tiny apartment or corporate earnings reports in the dining room of your mansion, there is no middle ground here.
Toast and Tea: You’re sitting in a cottage by the seaside writing a novel and/or poetry at this very moment. There’s a 14% chance you’re actually a character in a play and not a real person.
Toast with Almond Butter: You will wait in line at Trader Joe’s for 30 minutes to buy this almond butter and you won’t regret that choice.
Starbucks Pastry: Basic and proud. You got the Unicorn Frappuccino for your post-spinning pick-me-up but claimed it was “just for the gram.”
A Piece of Fruit: You’ve given up. See also: Granola Bar